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The Erudite Laborer's Cries of Romance

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The Obligatory Email Joke

Meet Reginald Cummings, a genteel claw hammer jockey/scholar, swathed in t-shirtery ripeness and hard-hatted splendor, whom extends a fully fleshed-out invitation to the ladies.

He beseeches, "Please join me atop my scaffold perch, from whence I unleash the signature silver-tongued catcalls which so endear me to the fairer sex!"

Damsels shall swoon at each of his two dozen entreaties, published at Chickenhead, such as "Hark, oh comely lass! Would that I might call you 'toots,' and comment lewdly upon the contours of thine person."

Lesser men, such as I, your humble message bearer/hammered thumbs sufferer, bow deeply in the presence of Sir Reggie's muddy boots, notating techniques of the verbal caress whilst tall Coors quaffed in alluring glints of gusto, crescendo into a frothy belch of the pentameter.

My name's Mike. I generate copy.


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